I have realized something this week. Just because i want to do something doesn't make it easy. Even if I'm 100% committed!
I absolutely love the IDEA of homeschooling--i really do!! Last April, i had envisioned teaching my daughter, enjoying precious time with her, but let me tell you homeschooling is not for the faint at heart. I am finally coming to grips with the reality that homeschooling is not what i envisioned.
What was i expecting?
1. A child so eager to spend time with her mama.
2. A clean house. After all, we are "home" schooling. Lots of time at home, right??
3. Lots of time to prepare meals and healthy ones at that.
4. Lots of time to grocery shop and run errands.
Reality check!
My house is messy!
My house is noisy. Really noisy.
I am eating, sleeping, breathing, all things 5th grade. Seriously, have you seen the show Are you Smarter than a 5th grader? Need i say more???
I must admit, when i was dropping Brayden off for preschool and Kaila off for 2nd grade, i was a bit depressed . Yes, i am homeschooling just one and sending the others off to school.
Why was i depressed? I would have had 5 hours three days a week to clean my house, shop, prepare healthy dinners, and spend more time with Jesus. Instead, I'm crying out to Jesus to just get me through the day.
I know it will get better. I know I am right where I'm meant to be. Is it easy? NO! Am i cranky? You betcha!
Homeschooling takes commitment and until i start loving it-- I'm going to fake it til i make it! :)
Ouch! I'm sorry it is hard. We home school too, but won't start until after Labor Day. One of my boys is in 3rd year of college and home schooled every year before he started college. I wouldn't give up on the idea of maybe adjusting your lessons...evaluating what is busy work with a curriculum and what is really needed. You might be able to find a way to make it more workable for you. When you first start, you don't necessarily know what is o.k. to leave out and what is a must. But, I throw the idea out there encase the Lord would be nudging to lessen or loosen the work load...at least for a while as you adjust to it all.
ReplyDeleteHope you find the peace in it all. I didn't use boxed curriculum as a school would and we aren't above average folks academically, but my son is an A student in college and another son went to public school in tenth grade and is honor student. I'm saying that because we are sooo average and didn't do everything by the book at home. God gave grace and somehow it all worked out for the older two.
The younger of my two are in 6th and 9th at home.
You have been an encouragement to me with adoption questions that you've helped me with. I couldn't resist hoping to encourage you a little too.
Thanks Rhonda! I'm just trying to figure out this thing called life. :) We are struggling with Math. We have the homeschool thing figured out, but we are both frustrated with 5th grade Math.
ReplyDeleteThat may have been the hardest year of Math for all 4 of my guys too...up until Algebra!
ReplyDeleteLove your posts, love your heart, and I know you are swimmin' in God's grace! But, I do empathize about the Math! :(