3 months home

We have been home 3 months now.  It's been 3 months of challenges.  3 months of finding a new routine as a family of 7.  

Three months of redemption slowly taking place.  

I never thought i'd be in this place.  A mom of 5 kids. Let alone a stay at home mom raising a blended family.  I simply never thought it was my calling.  

After all, i had different plans for my life in my younger years.

What have i learned in month 3?

That God secures, equips, and fortifies ME, making me fully capable of raising these kids, even with all of my imperfections.  

I fail every day.  I am short tempered, cranky...tired of the mundane.  Some days before we are even out the door, i'm counting down until bedtime.

However, God in His sovereign plan placed Joseph and Brenda into this crazy chaotic family. 

Do i have what it takes to bring them healing? Of course not.  

I have to relinquish control.  For example, Joseph is very behind in school.  Do i home school?  Do I advocate for him in the public school system?  How on earth will he catch up 5 grade levels? Do we hold him back?  Do we promote him to middle school?  So many questions without black and white answers.  

I have to realize that God is the Source and Sustainer of Joseph and Brenda.  

Not me.  

I have to trust that Jesus has a plan for all of my children AND Jesus will set things securely in order and prepare them for their callings.  I simply need to point them to the cross and show them love.  

The cross.  That's where redemption and transformation happens.

It's not about me or what i do.  I simply play a small part in this thing called life. Without the weight of the world on my shoulders, i can relish in my children, and let God be God.  

In 3 short months, we see glimpses of joy.  We see smiles.  We share laughs. 

And this month, we celebrate Joseph and Brenda's birthdays. We truly celebrate them and their lives.