My name is Sheila and i'm mom to 5 kiddos (Two recently adopted from Uganda) and i send my kids to public school.
{{GASP}}
I sent them to school even when they barely knew English. Less than a month after being home and they have attached to our family just fine.
I have wrestled with this. Everyone i know seems to homeschool. If i read blogs on adopting the older child, they homeschool.
There is a pressure on Christian Moms. A pressure to explain why we don't homeschool or at least send our kids to a Christian school.
There is an even greater pressure in the adoption community, esp if you adopt an older child, on why you send your child to public school.
So why does our family send our kids to public school?
1. We know God is sovereign. He controls every little detail of our lives. Nothing i do is a surprise to him. Although, i do wonder if He face palms himself some days with some of my decisions.
2. I have never wanted to keep my children in a Christian bubble. We listen to Christian music. Most of my friends are Christians. We are actively involved in Church. My kids know nothing other than Jesus. Sending them to public school exposes them to the world.
3. When i was 12 years old I heard about this fun place to go on Weds nights called Awana. A local church's bus ministry came through my neighborhood to pick me up. I didn't grow up in a Christian home, but a little girl in a public school, invited me to church and my life has been changed ever since. I want my kid's to have the opportunity to tell another friend about Jesus.
4. I don't want to homeschool. At all. I don't feel called to do it. I have been on that horse once and vowed never to do it again. I felt as if i wasn't in the center of God's will even though "Good Christian Moms" are suppose to do this. I was miserable. My daughter was miserable. It lasted for a very short season.
5. I feel God calls everyone to different things in different seasons in our lives. Does this mean we will public school forever? No, but i have no doubt that we are in the center of God's will in this season.
6. I feel even if i make a mistake that God can right any wrong in my children's lives. Rom 8:28
7. We are a family of 7. Finances can be tight. My children love to play instruments and it's FREE in the public school. TOTALLY FREE.
8. I love to volunteer in the public school. There are so many kids that come from broken homes. I love to be in a classroom loving on a child that doesn't get any love at home.
9. I have had absolutely NO ISSUES. Nada. Not one. If anything has come up, the teachers were quick to resolve it. My kids haven't come home indoctrinated in the cult courtesy of Common Core.
10. I totally trust Jesus with my kids. I have seen Jesus send FABULOUS teachers/mentors/believers into my kid's lives. In school. In public school.
I have to trust that where i fail as a parent, God will fill in the gaps. Figuring out how to parent an adopted child through the public school system is daunting and at times, it's down right maddening.
Even when we fail, when we fall flat on our behinds, we can trust that God loves our children even more than we do.
That's a promise i cling too.
So, here's just a note to support you. I'm sure your candidness will encourage sisters and brothers to set each other free from any kind of "expectation", such as homeschooling. Sometimes no one is pressuring and we feel the pressure within ourselves, but other times the pressure is real. We homes school and sometimes on rare occasions I have had a moment of panic wondering if I've done the right thing all of this time. I'm sure I'd experience that moment no matter how I was raising our kids or educating them. I've come to the same conclusion that you have; that Jesus is sovereign, can right any wrong, can and will work all things for our good. One of our sons jumped into public school in the tenth grade and he enjoyed finishing high school there. It was fun for all of us and the ones still wanting to be at home enjoying the window into the school system with their brother.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, though, and any kind of social pressure that seems to push us should be suspect I think. The Spirit of God is gentle, kind, and leads us well. That's the Voice to listen for. Love ya and love being looped into your life through adoption and blogging. ♥
Yes!!!! Love your support through this journey. You are a gem!
DeleteThank you, thank you, thank you. I send my kids to public school, and for the longest time, I was the only one in my family (I have 4 siblings) and among my good friends that did. We've adopted two, and they go to public school. I've always felt I had to defend our decision, and that everyone is watching my kids to see how they will turn out. We have had some issues, but believe me, there would have been issues with homeschooling, too. It isn't over yet, but like you, I know that God loves my kids even more than I do. and I am trusting HIm with the outcome. Thank you for telling so well the other side of the story.
ReplyDeleteYay!! Yay for freedom to do what God calls us to do or not to do! Yay for public schools! Yay for amazing teachers! And Yay for you Shelia! Great post!
ReplyDeleteWe (mainly my wife) have felt similar pressure, only to put our kids in public school. My wife is always asked "Why do you homeschool? So when are you going to put your kids in public school?" Sometimes it's genuine curiosity, but sometimes they just ask it in a very defensive way. She does it because she likes it and we think it's best for our kids right now. It's definitely hard though when you feel like you're doing the opposite of what the expectation is. Great list! And congrats with the adoptions!!
ReplyDeleteI realized a long time ago, that we know what is best for our individual families. That may mean i public school and you homeschool, and both are okay. :)
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