I am not sure how i feel exactly. Numb, i guess. I don't want our decision to adopt to be crowded by our emotions. I really need to hear God. Is it HIM that has directed our path? Or is it selfishly our emotion. I have a heart for the fatherless. I feel like God wants us to proceed in Africa, but i hear all of these horror stories of unethical adoptions.
I do not want to take a child from their mother because of poverty. I want an ethical adoption. I want to be in the center of God's will. As we have spent well over $5500 in the past few weeks proceeding forward, i just need to hear God.
I pray that HE shuts this adoption down. I pray the HE makes our paths straight. I know God is not a God of confusion, but of order. Perhaps, i need to stay off the internet and stop reading everyone else's journeys and just focus on the one God wants us to live.
My prayer--God, please make our path straight. My heart's desire is to live a life pleasing to you.
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