Redemption

As i write this, i am watching a little girl swimming in my pool with her new sisters and brother.  Even though her English is broken, they are laughing.  They are playing.  They are being typical kids.

You would never know that less than 4 months ago she lived in an orphanage that is filled with older kiddos living with more heartache than i will ever see in my life. 

They all have a story to tell.  Some are sadder than others.  Some are terrifying.  If we took them to see a shrink, they would be labeled with some scary label with 3 or 4 letters.  Now don't get me wrong, these are real issues and shouldn't be taken lightly, but we are talking about kids that have lost parents and suffered trauma that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. 

There WILL be issues.

So often when my friends come up to me and ask how things are going, i give a smile and say,

"Great!!! Everything is so much better than we anticipated." 

And there is TRUTH to that statement but we have had some dark days. Brenda wouldn't be in my home if we didn't have issues that we needed to work through.

There are days that are HARD.  Adoption is exhausting, expensive, uncomfortable, and some days not rewarding AT ALL.

Do i know what the future holds?  No.

Will i have to deal with some sort of attachment issue with Brenda?  Maybe.

Will we have to spend years in therapy?  Perhaps.

How will this affect my bio kids?  I'm not sure.

On the days that i long for what life was like as a Mom of 3, God reminds of Redemption.

Definition: Redemption is the act of buying something back, or paying a price to return something to your possession.

Redemption is costly.   Buying back lives costs A LOT.  When God set out to redeem us, it killed Him.

But, Redemption is a BEAUTIFUL thing.  Jesus didn't call me to an easy life.  He didn't promise me the American dream.  He didn't promise obeying Him would keep my kids out of harm's way. 

The reality of God's Kingdom is that this life is not my own.

This life is about letting Jesus do His thing.  He redeems lives, and y'all, He will keep doing it with or without me.

 It’s not about me, but I'm honored that Jesus chose me to shine a little of His light into this precious life.

It's official

We have finalized our adoption today in the State of Florida.  It consisted of 7 questions over the phone with a notary present while our lawyer was in court with the judge.  Super fast and easy!!

She is officially ours!

One Month Home

We have been home for one month and we have had lots of firsts.  Here is a glimpse into Brenda's first month...

First time on a Horse

First Easter Egg Hunt

First time on a bouncy slide

First Birthday party

First Day of School

Happy Birthday Sweet Girl!

Today we have the opportunity to celebrate Brenda's 7th birthday. Older child adoption has been such a blessing.  Don't get me wrong, some days are HARD, but despite the difficulties I can see God's hand on this entire transition into our family. 

Please forgive me President Obama

Tonight at my therapy session (AKA 3 mile run) God humbled me in my tracks.  You see, I'm not a huge Obama fan, but if it wasn't for Obamacare I would have a little girl going without health care coverage tonight.  Jesus made me eat my words.

Tonight i learned a few things: 

1.  God is Sovereign

2.  Way back in November God had a plan for a little girl that lived in Uganda to come to the United States.  He knew that Micah and I would have trouble adding her to our health insurance because of preexisting conditions, but yet again He is sovereign.

3.  God works out everything according to His will. 

Mr President, i may not be a supporter, but i am thankful for Obamacare tonight.  I am thankful that i can add my soon to be 7 year old to my Blue Cross coverage with no preexisting conditions and at the newborn rate. 

Living a radical life...

First, let me start off by saying that i honestly feel all Christians are called to live a radical life.

We are a mere 9 days and a wake up before we travel as a family of 5 to become a family of 6.

Am i excited?  Absolutely!

Am i nervous?  You betcha!

Do i know what the future holds?  No!  Does anyone?

BUT--Something is missing!  And it's been missing for a little bit.

I am neck high in adoption stuff.  We have 7 suitcases packed.  The kids are vaccinated.  We have our taxes done.  We have umpteen copies of our paperwork!  We are ready to go! 

But something is still missing...

I was sitting in church today and it felt cold.  It has NOTHING to do with my church, but i just haven't felt that closeness to Jesus that makes my heart pound. 

I remember praying to God asking Him to give me a sign.  (I'm a lightning bolt kinda gal.)

I remember telling Jesus, "I will do whatever you ask.  I will live a radical life.  I will sell everything i have.  I just need to hear you.  I need direction. Just speak to me Jesus!!"

And in that still small silent moment God spoke.  Y'all didn't hear it???? 

Seriously...He said to me, "Sheila, I'm here.  I'm in the mundane while YOU'RE trying to live the radical."

My heart was ripped into two.  As we are preparing to venture into this new season of our life, I've missed God. I've missed Jesus in the mundane.  The God that created the heavens and the earth.  He also created the radical and the mundane!

You see, Satan has been keeping me busy trying to live the radical life.  I haven't sat at the feet of Jesus in some time.  Sure, I've been in my bible.  I've been to church, but i haven't had the hunger for God's word like i should because I've been busy trying to live radically for God.  That's a fine line to walk.

Contentment is hard for me.  Relishing where God has me at this very moment is a difficult concept for me to grasp.  I'm truly a work in progress.  Aren't we all? 

I still long for that crazy, radical life.  I still pray for that next big thing God wants to do. But i don't want to miss Jesus in the process.

Finally...

We finally have a court date schedule for Feb.  Thank you Jesus!! 

We are coming for you sweet girl!